Commentary: Why is Chinese New Year so stress inducing?
SINGAPORE: Sometimes, Chinese New Yr can experience oddly like an Annual Full general Coming together.
You gather together to requite a total accounting of your functioning during the year to a small grouping of people, many of whom you rarely meet.
Then, everyone publicly discusses and implicitly takes a vote on some very personal issues – your career, body type, love life, fertility and family-planning.
Small-scale TALK ON Large Issues
Somehow, a roundtable of well-significant relatives and open-faced pineapple tarts has never struck me as quite the identify to discuss these difficult and sometimes painful topics.
For instance, why you accept emerged from a toxic relationship, how you survived a crushing breakup, and why your baby-making schedule is "off".
When I say topics are "discussed", I don't actually hateful an open discussion where people exchange opinions on problems and argue the merits of each side.
Indeed, many of our elders seem to have already made up their minds that no single person can always exist happy, no happily dating couple should expect longer to get married and no married couple should delay procreation.
And why on earth aren't you climbing the corporate ladder while managing your ii toddlers?
READ: Commentary: The Dragon Mother-in-law and the First Son Syndrome
If, like me, you are inclined to disagree, merely keep at-home and think that Chinese New year's day is a special ceasefire period when disagreements are frowned upon.
What you are looking at could besides be a long, few days of tactical manoeuvres and passive-aggressiveness requiring patience and fortitude.
These days, many of my friends tell me relatives are more progressive, and pressure tactics are easing. Nevertheless, some suggest all this means is that quondam ways are only cloaked in more than subtlety.
A unmarried friend of mine nonetheless gets the about random matchmaking offers. An attached friend is asked yearly when she intends to stop receivinghongbaos , an indirect way of suggesting that she should get married.
And a high-flight girlfriend in her 40s has a relative who insists on giving her the same S$10hongbaothe four-year-olds of the family go - considering she is single.
READ: Commentary: What's wrong with being a single woman?
READ: Commentary: The things I no longer exercise for my meaning other
SHOULD Backlog Be A SYMBOL OF SUCCESS?
Part of the reason this occasion is so stressful is the narrow, traditional definition of what a "good life" should look similar, which many of our families still cling onto. Beyond marriage and reproduction, this also applies to the definition of success.
For all single readers, in case y'all are wondering, a marriage certificate and toddler are no special amulets against well-significant nagging when it comes to what you practise for a living. As a freelance writer, I have had my share of unsolicited career communication, often administered with concern and sympathy.
I have non only fabricated unconventional career choices, but am too notoriously known to take repeated "auspicious" outfits for Chinese New year's day – a sure sign of lack to some.
The problem is much of Chinese culture equates textile excess with success, and this is never more evident than during Chinese New Year.
It explains why in the weeks leading up, Orchard Road is clogged with vehicles and human bodies, makeshift bazaars sprout on every empty grass patch, and Singaporeans shop with a vengeance.
One news report fifty-fifty suggests Singaporeans spent an estimated South$ii.3 billion over Chinese New year final yr. Besides new outfits, we splurge on hairdos, manicures and festive feasts. This has acquired restaurants prices to spike to the auspicious melody of South$388, S$588 or S$888 per table.
I remember a fourth dimension when I actually looked forward to such festive indulgence.
When I was a child, it was the only time in the yr we could throw away faded, one-time wearing apparel and choice a couple of new pieces. We took this decision very seriously because these items were meant to last the entire yr.
READ: Commentary: Don't stash your child'south hongbao money in the bank. Requite them a take chances to spend it
READ: This festive season, parents should exercise self-control in giving, a commentary
I besides loved that the streets were decked in ruby-red, and recall fondly the riotous clang of cymbals, drums and lion dancers breaking the silence in the mornings.
Legend has it that this tradition stemmed from the belief that loud noises and bright colours scared abroad the mythical beast Nian that terrorised remote villages at the dawn of Chinese civilisation.
Surely no one and then could have imagined the sheer excess and tireless bustle that the 21st century brought with information technology.
Today, our skies are roaring with planes, our highways packed with petrol-guzzling vehicles, and brightly lit shopping malls beckon to our wallets from every corner. I dare say if this mythical beast were still hovering effectually our sleepless urban center, it would flee for the mountains.
In fact, we are and then inundated by excess that "Marie-Kondo" has become a verb, and managing excess is an entire self-assistance category, spinning a Netflix series, books, as well as the philosophy and design aesthetics of minimalism.
RETHINKING THE SEASON OF RENEWAL
Chinese New Twelvemonth is the high flavor of Marie-Kondo-ing because the Spring Festival is associated with renewal. Twelvemonth after year, we spring-make clean our houses and diets, merely to relapse into our old ways come March.
READ: Commentary: If y'all don't larn to love tidying upward, Marie Kondo tin can't salve you
Has this get a pointless cycle of detox and re-tox? And more than pertinently, in an era of over-consumption and widespread climate disasters, should nosotros actually experience compelled to shop for its own sake?
Perhaps we can augment our definition of renewal by extending the life-wheel of old products, and give the Globe a chance to renew itself.
READ: Commentary: Our holiday caricature has a huge carbon footprint
Sticking to my own personal tradition, I won't be jostling with the oversupply to buy a new dress or book a multi-class hotel dinner with that "lucky viii" price tag this yr.
Having said all that, I must admit that I do love Chinese New Year. The festive season e'er conjures up memories of how my single father would take time off piece of work and transform his taxi into our private family motorcar for two days.
I call up the overcooked steaks he would lovingly put on the table for us on this special occasion each year, afterwards my female parent passed away. They were pricey for him but he wanted to make the flavour memorable for us.
Today, the tabular array has gotten bigger and the dishes fancier, just nothing essential has inverse.
And perhaps that's what Chinese New year represents. In fact, everywhere around Singapore, whether you're Chinese or not, throughout the year, we are still putting out the best we tin can beget for our family.
Listen: Will you give an e-hongbao this Chinese New year's day? A Middle of the Matter podcast episode
Perhaps, most of the excess and even the unsolicited and awkwardly dished-out advice during this annual Chinese New year's day affair are driven by dearest and promise for a brighter future.
That said, instead of trying to outdo ourselves, perhaps this twelvemonth we might look by the spiffy new dress, banquet-fashion menus and functioning appraisals to really make fourth dimension for loved ones and renew bonds with relatives.
Find out what their greatest passion or favourite pastime is. Keep in heed that this doesn't e'er involve a person, position or pay cheque.
Be present in the moment and open to new perspectives. And believe in the magic of pineapple tarts in bringing diverse groups of people together.
While Chinese New year's day may always come with some festive stress, as you visit your families during this season, let's all hope not to lose ourselves in the stress, backlog and frenzy, and forget the true spirit of the flavour – love and family togetherness.
Annie Tan is a freelance writer.
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/commentary-why-chinese-new-year-so-stress-inducing-299416
0 Response to "Commentary: Why is Chinese New Year so stress inducing?"
Post a Comment